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Popular Jokes

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WHY? ? ? ? ? --- why did michael jackson shit him self? ? his nose fell off
YOU SO DUMB --- You so dumb you almost burned down the house trying to boil some water
SEA WORLD JOKE --- yo mommas so fat she had to get baptised at sea world
OYSTERS --- Do you know why oyseters increase male sexual libido?? Because after eating a dozen oysters, pussy doesn?t taste so bad!!!...
TERROR --- Whats the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist? You can neogatiate with a terrorist but not with a...
BIG BREASTED WOMAN --- Say to a friend you shagged a woman like this last night ( demonstate with your arms straight out - like you do...
U R 1 FAT BITCH --- YOUR MAMMA IS SO FAT FOREST GUMP COULD OF RAN AROUND JUST HER KNEE AND IT WOULD OF STILLOF TAKEN 222 YEARS.
BUFFET --- Your mum is so fat she went to an all you can eat buffet and it turned to an all you can find buffet
WALL --- what do you call nuts on a wall? wall nuts what do you call nuts on your chest? chest nuts what do you call nuts on your chi...
LIGHTBULBS --- How many Queen?s students does it take to change a lightbulb? ONE, but it never really gets done. He holds the bulb up...
TEA TIME --- There was three vampires one day they went go to a bar and one asked for a cold cup of blood, the second asked for they ...
LINGERING KISS --- A LINGERING KISS IS LIKE A SPIDER?S WEB IT LEADS TO THE UNDOING OF FLIES
REALIZING... --- INTERNET: 15 POUND COMPUTER: 150 POUND REALIZING THIS IS A SHIT WEBSITE:PRICELESS
BLONDE RHYME --- Q:What is a blondes favorite nursery rhyme. A:Hump me Dump me
TO MAKE THE GRADE --- Recently I was reading my professor?s written instructions for an assignment coming due in my online Food and Nu...
DID YOU DIE YESTERDAY? --- One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to th...
TIMES FUN --- Do you know what the Frog said? Times fun when you?re having flies.
TO FUNNY --- why do Burnetts like the color of there hair????? Because so they can hide the dirt..
BEST EVER --- whats the best way to fix the dish washer? slap her why dont wemon need watches? there is a clock on the stove. why di...
WHAT HOLE? --- Five women were playing golf. One got bit by a bee. She was allergic to bee stings, so she fell to the ground and went ...
WESTERN WOMAN --- One night a lone cowboy rode into a small town. He immediately went to the only saloon in town and ordered a drink. ...
LIZARD AND THE MONKEY --- A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "...
SO STUPID --- Your mama so stupid I said it was chillin? outside she went and got a bowl.
WE ARE FAMILY --- Your Mother is so fat when she walks into sea world all the whales atrt singing We are family i got all my sisters...
LIKING CHILDREN --- Why does mj like kids? He knows how they feel
THIRD GRADERS --- There is a Blonde a Brunette and a Redhead they are all in the 3rd grade, which one has the biggest tits? The Blonde...
AINT YOUR MAMA PRETTY --- aint your mama pretty she got meatballs in her titis she scrambled eggs between her legs aint your mama pret...
MOVIN OVER --- You so fat when god said let there be light you had to move over.
PROPER ENGLISH --- One day i go to New York to a bigga hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella da waitress i wanna 2 piss toas...
THE --- u r so fat that u steped on the scale and it said your phone number
FUNNY! --- what kind of bees give milk? BOOBIES!!!!
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER --- Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too...
LETS GET HIGH --- sex drugs rock ?n? roll weed speed birth control lifes a bitch but so am i so fuck the world lets get high sex drug...
SEVEN YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.... --- 1.Your coon dog sits in the frony seat more than you wife does 2.You know who is leading the W...
SURPRISE --- Little Jonny was walking home from school when in the field next to him he saw a black bull humping a white cow. He ran h...
Y?ALL CAN PICK THE TITLE --- One day there was two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and ...
MEXICO --- your mamas so fat that she uses mexico the hole country as her tanning bed.
MAN SHE IS FAT --- Your moma is so fat i had to use a local map to get aroud her
SMALLER DOWN THE LINE --- The National Science Foundation announced the following study results on U.S. military recreation preference...
BILL GATES --- Yo Mama is so fat that not even Bill Gates can pay for her liposuction
CLOSET LESBOS --- Q:What do you call three lesbians in a closet? A: A Licker cabinet
INDECENT EXPOSURE --- A MAN GETS FIRED FROM HIS JOB AND ARRESTED FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE. IN HIS DEFENSE HE TELLS THE JUDGE, "I WAS ONL...
PAY-PER-VIEW --- your so stupid you put a piece of paper on the tv and said i?m watching pay-per-view
WHO REALLY NEEDS A TITLE? --- These three stoners are sitting in a room smoking pot. After a few joints they run out of weed, so one o...
MAGIC SLIDE --- One day three kids where playing in the playground and where jumping on all the play equipment, having the time of the...
UR MUM IS SO DUMB --- ur mum is dumb wen the judge shouted ORDER ORDER she shouted burger n fries
THE BET .. 5 STAR !!! --- A guy walks into a bar.. he asks the bartender for an empty glass. He then walks to the far side of the ba...
DEAR MASTER: --- Dear Master: The cat is despicable. She doesn?t do any tricks and never comes when you call and I?ve been there and ...
ADDRESS --- ya mamas so fat she has her own postcode
EIGHT YEAR OLDS --- Q: Whats the best part of haing sex with 8 years olds? A: Hearing their pelvis crack. Q:Whats the best part with ...
SNOOKER --- Two drunks went into a pub and found the snooker table set up for a game."Can we have a game?"they asked the barman."Sure,...
COFFIN AND CONDOM --- whats the difference between a condom and a coffin well u go in one and cum in the other
RED HEAD GIRL --- a red headed girl went to the doctor and sed "oh doctor my whole body is in agony" the doctor told her "thats imposs...
THE FARMER AND THE HIPPIE --- A hippie is walking along when he sees a farm. he decides to see if he can spend the night. the lady say...
LET IT SNOW! --- Oh, the time it takes for the Red Sox to win is frightful But the smiles on the faces of Yankee fans are so delightfu...
YO MAMAS SOO STUPIDLY RETARD --- yo mamas so damn stupid she made a sandwich and stuck it in the VCR, then sat on the TV ate the tape ...
A CHRISTMAS STORY --- Christmas Story for people having a bad day.... When four of Santa?s elves got sick, and the trainee elves did...
SPIDER IN YOUR TEA! --- I?ve got to submit, An April Fools git. Mum, theres a spider in your tea, Where aaahhh! (Tea, hee hee), Kyline...
HA HA.....HA --- your mama is so stupid she stared at a orange juice bottle for one hour cuz it said concentrate
YO MOMMA IS SSSOOO STUPID --- yo momma is so stupid she thought mci was a rapper yo momma so stupid she stared at an orangr juice ca...
THREE MEN AND THE CANNIBALS --- Three men were taped on a island with a cannibal clan in Africa. The Chief Cannibal steps up and looks...
DIPLOMA --- Beer or not to beer that is the question
MJ FOOD POISONING --- Q: Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning? A: Because he ate a twelve-year-old weiner!
FAVORITE COUNTRY --- What?s a pirate?s favorite country? Arrrrgentina
SUBWAY --- TRUE STORY: one time me and my friends nikki and alex got all ripped and decided to go to subway. we were just chilaxin and...
HAIRY --- yo mama?s chest so hairy her tits look like coconuts yo mama got wooden tits and she breast feeds beavers yo mama?s feet s...
ROAD MAP --- your mama is so fat it takes a road map to find her ass
WHAT DOES..? --- what does Micheal Jackson and Saddam Hussien have in common? they were both found in tiny holes!
FORD SUCK --- life made ford to clean its ass with it.
YO MAMA : ) --- YO MAMA SO FAT DAT WHEN DA LORD SAID LET THERE BE LIGHT HE ASKED U 2 MOVE A BIT
CHEAK IT OUT MAN THERE COOL --- Yo mama is so bald I can see what she?s thinking Yo mama so stupid, when you were born she saw the um...
CORNER --- yo Mama is soo fat that she has to turn her blinker everytime she turns a corner
UR SO FAT........ --- Your so fat u weigh as much as a whale. Your so fat u weigh more than a hippo.
I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK --- Little Johnny was in his grade 2 class when the teacher asked Johnny, "If there were 5 birds sitting on a...
UR MAMMAAAAAAAA --- Ur mammas like a door knob every body gets a turn Ur mammas like a t.v. a little kid could turn her on
AINT DOIN NUTTIN --- I was walkin down the street one day smokin a blunt when a cop came up n asked me are you smokin marijuana n i wa...
CHOO CHOO --- you so ugly you fell off the ugly train,and hit all the breaks as you went down
YA MAM?S HOUSE --- ya mam?s house is so small you have to go outside to change your mind. ya mam?s glasses are so thick she can see in...
TURTLE RACE --- A man walks into a pub holding a turtle. The turtle has two bandaged legs, a black eye and his shell is held together ...
NOB --- ya mamas so fat even her shadows got strech marks
SANDWITCHES --- One time there was a big brother and a litthe brother.They slept on a bunk bed.The big brother slept on the top.The bi...
I WANNAP --- KNOCK KNOCK-?WHO?S THERE??-I WANNAP-?I WANNAP WHO??.UGH-YOU WANT A POO!!.
PRINCESS DI --- Q: Why did Princess Diana cross the road? A: Cos she wasn?t wearing a seat belt!!
FUN FOR OLDIES --- Joe and Jim were over 70 and put into an old peoples home, where drinking, card playing and smoking was strictly fo...
NEARLY LOST MUM --- Little Johnny came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigormortis had set i...
SAND IN YOUR BUSCH --- Why should girls never drink beer at the beach? They will get sand in their BUSCH
THE THERMOMETER --- A nurse was talking to her patient,so she says ," Hello, Mr Smith...here let me take your temperature. So she stic...
YOU KNOW YOUR A STONER WHEN --- You Know your a stoner when.... you clean out your car and smoke tha shake you found on the car matts...
MY DOG --- a teacher gave her class an assigment to do at home.every one was to write an essay on their pet.the next day in class the ...
HOW DOES JEFF GORDON FIND HIS WEE WEE --- How does Jeff Gordon find his dick? He sneezes
NOTORIOUS --- Why do couch potatos want to br Marines? Because Marines Make movies. Paratroopers make history. Hooaahh!
FLOWING --- how do u compare a blonde and a brick? u lay the brick dawn it dont flow u
RED SOX STYLE --- Take me down to Old Fenway Take me out to the crowd Buy me a Yankee?s Suck Teee-Shirt I dont care if I get my bu...
LUNCH AND CONSTRUCTION --- There are 3 construction workers in dowtown new york. one irish, one mexican, and one american. Every day a...
ELEVATOR BUISINESS --- A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all in an elevator and they see a cum stain on the elevator door. The br...
BEN LADIN --- Q: how does ben ladin pratice safe sex? A: he markes the camels that kick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOTS OF GOOD JOKESESES --- yo mamma so fat when god said let there be light she blocked it -ur momma so fat when she wore green every ...
IRAQI JOKE --- What?s the difference between a carload of Iraqis and a porcupine? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside. What?...
WHEN WERE PIGS MADE? --- When were pigs made? *In the Saus-age*
YAAAAY! CHRISTMAS!!!! --- Q: What did the deaf, mute, blind kid with no arms, or legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer
THE STEREO --- Once a male gorilla and a female gorilla were having a shower in the jungle. Suddenly the female gorilla asked the male...
MAD COW DISEASE... --- How do you get Mad Cow disease? Tell her she has to pay for two seats on the plane!
THE SAILSMAN --- There was this sailsman going door to door tring to sail vacuum cleaners. He come to this house and knocked on the do...
BUGER --- ONE DAY THERE WHERE 3 GUYS ONE WAS A BLACK ANOTHER WAS A WHITE ANOTHER WAS A MEXICAN. THEY GOT STUCK IN THE WOODS AND GOT SE...
FIVEPOUNDS OF FAT --- How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Give it a nipple.
HOW DO YOU --- How do you confuse a female archeaologist? Give her a used tampon and ask her which period it`s from
WOMEN ARE CARDS --- A woman is like a pack of cards You need a heart to love her A diamond to marry her A club to smash her head in ...
COURTROOM DRAMA --- A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama today when he challenged a court ruling over who shoul...
FAVORITE COLOR --- What?s Helen Keller?s favorite color? Corduroy
BALLS --- What does Michael Jackson and Tiger Woods have in common? Answer : They both love little white balls.
CRACK JOKE --- Whats the difference between prostitutes and drug dealers? ...
MOMMA SO STANKY --- yo momma so stanky, she has sourdough yeast infections
MUPPETS.... --- What?s slimy cold long and smells like pork ? Kermit the frogs finger
MUSLIM DOLL JOKE --- a girl walks into a toy shop and goes to the counter and says to the shp assistant "I want an inflatable doll" T...
TASTE MY RAINBOW --- yo moma is so fat that when she wore tie-dye, she shit out skittle and said, "TASTE MY RAINBOW BITCH"
BLACK JOKE ALERT! --- Q:) Whats transparent and lies in the gutter? A:) A nigger with the shit kicked out of him! That joke nor...
PROSTITION --- Why did the polish girl think prostition was such a good job? You got it, you sell it, you still got it.
FACT TWO --- Barnett, Larry The umpire who denied Boston’s catcher-interference appeal in game three of the 1975 World Series. R...
YOUR PLACE IN LIFE --- Political jokes / So you have found your place in life, at the head of the table. / So you have found your plac...
BULLFROG BJS --- A woman went to the store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pet...
F.O.R.D. --- Found On Russian Dump For Old Retarded Drivers Found On Road Dead Freakn Old Rebuilt Dodge
IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY --- Artery......................The stady of paintings Bacteria.................The back door to the Cafeteri...
THIS IS BAD --- how do you turn a fruit into a vegtable? put him on the stage with a tiger (hint....sigfried and roy)
PROBLEMS --- Whats the biggest problem for atheists ??? No one to talk to during orgasm !!!
PICCOLOS --- How do you get two piccolos to play in unison? Shoot one.
CONGRATULATIONS!! --- Congratulations to the WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS, the CHICAGO WHITE SOX!!!!!! Many people (including several Red S...
JUST A JOKE --- One day, one completely naked young lady walks into a bar.Of course, everybody stares at her, as she walks to the bar,...
THE PRIEST AND THE NUN --- A Priest and a Nun are riding through the desert on a camel and one day the camel just drops dead. After a ...
READ ME. --- One day, a young boy walks on to a city bus and sits directly behind the bus driver. He begins to shout at the top of his...
FERRETING FOR PLEASURE --- A man goes into a bar and somebody is selling a toothless ferret. "What use is that"?, he asks, "That?s n...
TWO BLONDES(WICKED FUNNY!) --- two blondes are walking in the woods when one spots tracks and says, "hey look, bear tracks!" to which ...
COACH --- The coach of the local highschool basketball team is getting his team ready, when his star player walks in with a cast on hi...
BLONDE POLICE OFICER --- There was a female blonde driving. She sees a police car behind her so she pulls over. The police oficer (a...
COUNTING --- there is a brunette skipping down a railroad track saying 21,21,21,21 so a blonde comes and said that looks like fun so s...
AUSTRALIA --- An Australian sheep shearer was looking for his missing friend when he spotted him behind a bush with a sheep ! . The A...
CRUEL GENIE --- There?s a guy walking along a beach. He stubles over a lamp, picks it up, and a genie appears. "I will grant you ONE...
NUDEST BEACH --- A mother and father took their son to a nudist beach. Once they got there, their son goes out to the water to play. A...
THE PLAGE --- i pleage a legeinse to the flage that Michael Jackson is a fag he used to play with little toys now he playes with lit...
POINTY HATS --- Q. why do witches wear pointy hats? A. To cover their pointy heads
SILLY BILLY! --- Ya mom so stupid thet she brought batteries for a solar powered light!!!!
UUH WATEVER --- yo mamma so poor, i saw her kicking a coke can down the street so i asked her what she was doing and she told me yall ...
DYSLEXIC --- two dyslexics talking , one says can you smell gas ? the other says - smell gas ? i cant even smell my own name !
HELP POLICE --- A woman phones the police and says "help help ive been Graped" The operator says "do you mean raped ?" The woman say...
WOT DO MEN KNOW? --- ten things men know about women: 1.they have a vaginal opening 2. 3. 4. 5. 6 7. 8. 9. 10. oh aye and tit...
ALBINO BLUSH --- how do you get an albino to devellep pigmantation....you beat over the the head with a yeast infection
BILL GATES AND UR MOM --- ur mom is so fat, even bill gates cant pay for her liposuction.
HOT/COLD --- Symptoms--------- After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any me...
LITTLE SUSSY PMS --- One day, little sussy, had her first pms and she was bleeding everywhere. Afraid to tell her parents whats going...
NASTY Q AND A --- Question: How do you stop your daughter from getting pregnant? Answer: Wear a condom.
HARD LUCK --- A woman from the brittle bone society offered me a job. I snapped her hand off.
PAVAROTTI --- What will Pavarotti?s wife be getting for Xmas? A smaller turkey.
LOCKED --- Youre mama is so stupid when she got locked in a grocery store she starved
LEPER JOKE --- Did you hear about the leper poker game? The first guy cried his eyes out, the next threw his hand in, and the other l...
BIRTH CONTROL PILL --- Q: What is the definition of a birth control pill? A: The other thing a woman can put in her mouth to keep fr...
UTTER WASTE --- What do you do when you see an ethiopian drowing? -Chuck him a polo. What do you do when you see two ethiopians drowni...
FOURTYFOURTH B-DAY --- Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn?t feeling too hot that morning. I went down to breakfast knowing ...
A GENIE IN A LAMP --- A penis is like a genie in a lamp, Rub it and you might get something to come out of it.
THE SAD LIFE OF A PENIS --- i only have one eye, my hairs a mess, my relatives are nuts, my neighbours an arse hole, my best friends a...
IT?S NOT A PRAWN... --- A young man starts his first day in the morgue, and has to do a night-shift. The boss tells him that under no...

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