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Popular Jokes

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BLOND --- How do you kill a blond? Just give her a knife
BIBLES --- your moma so old she has an autograph copy of the bible.
MICHIGAN CHEERLEADERS --- Q.What would you do if you seen 3 University of Michigan football players with cement up to there head? A.G...
BLONDE GETS A PHONE CALL --- A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears. "I wa...
BUFFALO --- one day a native american and his dad were walking along and the dad puts his ear to the ground and says buffalo cum and ...
YANKEE STAMP RECALL --- Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Yankees players on t...
THE DIFFRANCE --- Whats the diffrance between the ohio sate football team and a ohio stae cheerleader? they both suck for four quater...
SHAKESPERE --- Shakespere walked into a pub, the land lord said "Get out ya? Barred!"
MICHEAL JACKSONS NOSE --- where does micheal jackson pick his nose? from a catolouge!
ABORTION --- What do you call an abortion in Prague? A cancelled cheque ( Czech! )
YOU TURN AWAY --- Everyday a woman went to work, a man walked up to her, smelled her hair and said,"Your hair smells so nice!" This we...
ANGUS --- So there?s an american and a scottsman in a bar, each of them enjoying a drink. After awhile the scottsman aproaches the ame...
HORSE IN A BAR --- A horse walks into a bar. The barman looks at the horse and says "Why the long face?"
BRITNEY SPEARS AND PEPSI --- What does Britney Spears and pepsi have in common? They both come with plastic jugs!
WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN? --- Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?...
NEIL?S SOOOOOOO UGLY --- Neil?s soooo ugly he makes ugliest guy look like a saint it not that good
CAMEL --- what do girls and camels have in common? they both have camel toes.
CANABILISTIC TRIBE --- there were 3 guys taking a hike in the woods. they get captured by a canabilistic tribe so the tribe takes the ...
A FEW --- Yo momma so fat she makes cottage cheese jealous. yo momma so fat she can?t walk she?s gotta roll. yo momma so fat people bu...
BEST BLOND JOKES EVA --- 1.) A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunett...
BLACK HOLE --- Grandma wants to get Grandpa in the mood for a little nookie so she goes to Victoria?s Secret where she ends up purchas...
STAIN --- A blonde a brunette and a redhead are working in an office building, as the brunette?s working she sees something on the wal...
PAY --- I made a fun of something at work one day and my boss said I should be a comedian. I told him I thought I was, my pay is a jok...
BABY --- Q: What sits in the corner of the kitchen and gets smaller and smaller??? A: A baby with a poato peeler...
WHEN DO I GET THAT? --- A little girl walks in on her mom while the mother is getting dressed. She points at her mom?s breasts, and s...
SANTAS DIVORCE --- Why did Santa get a divorce with his wife? Because she was a hoe hoe hoe!
SO VERY VERY FAT --- ya mama is so fat when he jumped in a swimming pool all the water jumed out
YOUR MOM IS LIKE.. --- You mom is like a T.V set, even a three year old can turn her on.
THE CLOCK --- How do you know it?s bed time at the NeverLand Ranch? When the big hand touches the little hand
YOUR SO UGLY... --- Your so ugly that your mom had to tie a porkchop around your neck to get the dog to play with you.
BIRDS --- why do birds fly south? because its too far to walk
BULL VS. BAND --- What?s the difference between a bull and an orchestra? - The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the ...
MICHEAL AND THE WICKED WITCH --- What do Micheal Jackson and the Wicked Witch of the West have in common? They can both melt!!!!
DAMN YOUR UGLY --- Your so ugly that you make blind children cry!
A MAN IS LIKE A DECK OF CARDS ... --- A woman once said that a man is like a deck of cards ... you need: A Heart to love him, A Di...
BROOSTER THE ROOSTER --- A farmer went to the market to buy a new rooster so that his hens would produce more eggs. He came upon a bo...
BAGPIPE JOKES --- Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise. Q: What?s the only thing worse than a bagpi...
FIVEEYES --- What has 5 eyes, is blind, goes for miles, yet bumps into nothing? The Mississippi River!
RATTLING --- Teacher: Why didn?t you answer me ? Pupil: I did, I shook my head Teacher: You don?t expect me to hear it rattling from h...
BERNARD SHAW --- In a party, Shaw asked a dazzling lady: ?Madam, I?m quite enchanted by your beauty. Would you be willing to spend one...
LOCO?S WIFE --- A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids... "WOW," the social worker exclaims, "Are they ALL...
CLINTON AND THE DR. --- "Clinton?s Testimony" by Dr. Seuss I did not do it in a car I did not do it in a bar I did not do it in th...
LOOK INSIDE YOUR HOME --- There?s a stoner and a super genius sitting on a bench waiting on a bus. The genius gets bored, leans over t...
CANIBL?S GIRLFRIEND --- WHAT DID THE CANIBL DO AFTER HE DUMPED HIS GIRLFRIEND? WIPED HIS ASS!!!!!!
HURTING ALL OVER --- A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over." "What do you mean?" said the doctor. Th...
YOUR MUMS SO FAT..... --- your mum is so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke
SNOOP?S LAUNDRY --- What does Snoop Dogg use to clean his clothes? Bleeotch!
MOSQUITO --- WhAtS ThE DifFeReNcE BeWTwEeN yO MuM AnD A MoSqUiTo???????? WhEn YoU SlAp A MosQuIto It StOpS SuCkInG
HOEDOWN --- You might be a redneck if.....You go to a hoedown and your girlfriend lays down on the floor!
YOUR MAMMAS SO SLUTTY --- your mommas so slutty she has more engaged more times than bt
YOUR MAMMAS SO TALL --- yo mamma so tall when i climbed on her back my ears popped.
THE CONFESSION --- A GUY goes into a confessional at church and says : "Father, I?m 52. 3 weeks ago, I went to this bar & was picked ...
WHY DID THE PLANE CROSS THE ROAD? --- Why did the plane cross the road? It was hijacked by a chicken!
RACE IN HEAVEN --- superman and ken bigley are having a race in heaven. Superman wins by an head
FACTS --- Ok heres the deal..... Yankees ARE NOT the first team to ?CHOKE.? In the 1986 WS, the score was 5-3 against the Mets, and t...
BOB THE BUILDER --- What do you call Bob the builder when he retires? BOB!!
MY SIZE --- you so fat when u whent to mcdonalds and asked for a my size meal, they gave you the key to the store.
FATNESS OF UR MOM --- Yo momma?s sooo fat that I couldn?t get down there last night ( down there means her vagina)
YOUR MUMMA IS SO UGLY --- yo mumma is so ugly they paid her 2 put her clothes on in a strip joint
TUNA SURPRISE --- oiii ur mom iz so dirty wen i went 2 er house i ask wat 4 dinner and she pulled up er skirt and said tuna surprise
CLEVER --- This guy went into the doctor?s surgery and said ? I think I?m a moth" the doctor said ? it?s not a doctor you should be s...
A GIRLZ FIST TIME --- A Girls First Time As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, bu...
TSUNAMI C.D. --- Several artists are getting together to record a new version of "The tide is high" in aid of the tsunami appeal. The...
TENSIGHNS YOU MIGHT BE TRAILOR TRASH --- Your wife?s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. You?ve been married three times and st...
BLOWING CUNCKS --- there is a mans sitting at the end of the bar getting shit faced.The bar tender ask the man why are you doing this ...
TSUNAIMI --- yo ur muma is so fat wen she jumps she cause a british tsunaimi the fat bitch
YO MAMAS --- Yo mamas so dumb she stuck a phone up her ass and thought it was a booty call.................... Yo mamas like humpty d...
RED SOX STIIL SUCKS --- Red Sox Really stiil fucking suck!!!!....WOW two world series champs ohhhhhhhhhhhh Please!!!!!! How did Yankes...
THE WEDDING TEST --- THE WEDDING TEST My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My paren...
OLD AS DIRT --- Your mama?s so old that her social security card consists of a pigeon flying over a bear.
HOW DO YOU GIVE HEAD? --- you put your lips on it and you suck it like you never did before, no worries ive tryed it, it is like your ...
COFFIN --- whats a condom and a coffin got in common? they both hold stiffs but one is cumin and one is going!!!!
WIFE KNOWS BEST --- A beginning bowler was asked by his bowling friend...Are you a stroker or a cranker? Not being familiar with bowl...
YOR MAMA IS SO --- your mama is so ugly her face is closed on weekends
HAMSTER FUR COAT --- I just bought my mam a hamster fur coat, she went to Blackpool last weekend in it and was on the big wheel for ei...
TIME --- A husband and wife return 30 years later to the same hotel room they had when they were married As the wife is taking off her...
PLUG IT IN --- what is michael jacksons favorite commercial? Plug It In Plug It In
WEEEEEEEEEEE --- Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husba...
NOW SHE?S EVEN --- She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she...
MR. JONES --- Why did the pussy cross the road? To get to the other penis
WHO MY DADDY? --- What is the most confusing day in Harlem? Father?s Day
LESBIAN HOBBY --- What do lesbians do when they?re on their periods? Fingerpaint Ewwwwwwww
THE LONE RANGER AND TONTO --- The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got >their >tent all set up, they fell...
YO MAMA --- yo mama so fat she stepped on a dollar and made change yo mama so fat she can play pool with the pla...
SHE IS DUMB --- There was once a blond that was so dumb she climed a chain link fence to see what was on the other side.
MIRRORZ --- you so ugly u told a joke in da bathroom and no one was laughing but da mirror was crackin up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BLACK POWER --- Do you know how the black power symbol was developed... About 1000 years ago their ancestors discovered that if they ...
HOW DO YOU MAKE HOLY WATER? --- How do you make holy water? You Boil the HELL!!!! out of it!
I?M STUMPED --- Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. ...
CAR 69 --- why is a blonds speed limit 68 wait 123 cuz at 69 the blow a rod lol lol lol lol lol
FRESH --- your mama is so nasty she has to put salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh
ASDFSDFF --- There was a blond a red head and a brunette. a black guy comes up to da red head and says, "im going to kill you any last...
MICKHAEL JACKSON --- mickael jackson swore on the popes life that he never touched the children!!!
REDDD --- you might be a redneck if your neck is red!!
THE BIG PENIS --- one day a man went to the doctor and asked him why his penis was so big. The doctor then replied you have a serious ...
HANDY HERO --- A hero of World war 1 was approached by a young girl and asked : ?did you kill a German??.The hero replied in the affir...
PRINGLES --- your moms like a bottle of pringles ounce she poops the fun dont stop
LICENSE --- your mamas so fat that when she got her drivers license taken it showed half of her picture then when you flipped it over ...
FOGGY DAY --- This one day i was on a date with a blonde girl i know. She said she wanted to go down to the river. We got down there a...
JUST ANOTHER CHICKEN JOKE --- Why did the guy cross the road? Because he had his dick stuck in a chicken!
SANTA TRUE COLOR --- why is santa joly all the time,cause he knows where all the bad girls live
WOW THIS TOPS IT --- yo mama is so fat she wore a purple shrit and people started sing "i love you" yo mama is so ugly she look at an...
SILK --- Q:Say silk fast five time? Now spell silk five times? What do cows drink? A:Cow don?t drink milk?
SERENA WILLIAMS --- What time does Serena Wiliams get up in the morning??? TENISH!!
WE WERE SO POOR..... --- We were so poor....... .......we ate the beans outa our bean bag seats ..................the only time w...
JOKE OF THE DAY DUDES --- i have the joke of the day..... you!!!!! bumfluff bumfluff guess wot... bumfluff stand up speak up dud...
SORRY CONTEST --- 1. yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest,they said??sorry,no professionals.?? ...
U MIGHT BE A RED NECK IF..... --- If you think a greased pig constest consists of greasing up your local cop and chasing him you might...
SEX OF A FLY? --- Woman walks into the kitchen one day to see her husband brandishing a fly swatter."hi honey watcha doin?""Killing fl...
CONDOMS AND WOMEN --- What have condoms and women got in common? Their either on your dick or in your wallet!
YO MAMS SO FAT. --- your mums so fat she went in to town in high heels and came bak in slippers.ya mums so fat god cudunt lift her spi...
DAVE?S DOG --- Q. what did dave chapelle say when he found his missing dog? A. GOTCHA BITCH
OOO A JOKE --- you so ugly you had to put a gun to michael jackson?s head to get him to molest you when you were little
GW MET THE QUEEN --- George Bush met The Queen, and he turns round and says: "As I?m the President, I?m thinking of changing how my co...
LEARNING --- So , This Polish guy just gets off the boat and is ready to start fresh in North America ,But not able to speak english ,...
THREEFINGERS --- Q.WHATS HAIRY AND GOT THREE FINGERS A. A FLIDS ARMPIT
FLYING RUBBER --- Why did the rubber fly across the room? It got pissed off.
NEW ORLEANS STADIUM --- A packed New Orleans stadium turned into mayhem and violence when the headlining band was replaced by "Katrina...
RAINBOW --- Yo mama so fat she could do chin ups on a rainbow!
RUDE JOKE! --- Q. WHAT DID THE RIGHT LEG SAY TO THE LEFT LEG? A. BETWEEN ME AND YOU,WE NEED A HAIRCUT
COMMON INTEREST --- What have a gravedigger and a necrophiliac got in common? They both dig dead peoplle?s holes.
THE NEW POPE --- The Pope rides his bike to the butchers shop and the butcher says "what will it be? Beef or Mutton?" The pope says ...
OLD MOMMA --- Yo momma so old that the whole world ran to the other time zone
SOMEBODY?S COMING! --- You may have heard this one before but thought it was funny and wanted to share.......... A ...
INDIAN FOOD --- I had a chicken tarka the other night. Its like a chicken tika but just a little otter.
SPLATT!! --- Only two things fall from the sky: 1. Bird shit 2. Army Ranger
LAWN SPRINKLER --- What do u call 4 mexicans, 1asian, and 3 blacks? A lawn sprinkler. spic,spic,spic,spic, chink, nigger, nigger, ni...
SUMMER HOLIDAY --- Paddy meets Sean in the playground and tells him he is going to Spain on holiday with his parents.Sean asks Paddy w...
IF I ONLY HAD A.... --- A man walks into a bar and sees an overweight, disgustingly ugly man with an amazingly beautiful woman. Man wa...
MJ?S BOOK --- Rumor has it in the publishing industry that Michael Jackson?s new book will be titled The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing...
YET ANOTHER GIRL GETS DUMPED!! --- "hey you forgot to open one more present." so the girl says no i didnt i dont see one. so he said t...
WASTED RESEARCH --- In 2003, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man?s penis was larger than the shaft. ...
BLONDE AND TRACKS --- Three blondes are walking through the woods. They spot some tracks. Blonde #1 says i think they are deer track...
TWOBLONDES ON AN ISLAND --- There were two blondes and they get stuck on an island and the fisrt blonde goes what do you think is clos...
BLONDE AND TURTLES --- What do blondes and turtles have in common? Once their on their backs they?re fucked!
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE IN A BIKER .... --- What is the difference in a Biker on a Harley and a Hoover Vac.? The dirtbag is on the out...
KILLER SPEEDER --- This guys doing 120 on the interstate and gets pulled by a state trooper. The trooper asks for his license. "Don?t ...
OH DEAR!!! --- A reporter was interviewing some Native Americans at the reservation. She approached a young brave: Reporter: "Why do ...
WONG THE CHINA-MAN --- a guy walks into a truck stop after traveling for days. he goes up and asks the guy at the counter...."hey, are...
CONFESSIONAL --- A priest is receiving confession, and a rabbi joins him. A woman comes up to the priest and says "Father I have comit...
SUP HOMIES --- you mama is so dumb that she got hit by a parked car
SOOOO FATTTTT --- Yo mama?s so FAT... The Barber shop charged her by the acre to shave her back.
ZEEBRA --- Q:what does a black guy say rolling down a zebra?s back? A: "now u see me now u dont"
BIG PUSSY --- so the was this guy who love to go down on the lady?s and one day he was about to go down on one lady in paticular... ...
FISH LOVE PUSSY --- Two guys John and Eddie were fishing by the banks of a lake. John was catching fish after fish but Eddie was not e...
FOURTYTH ANNIVERSARY --- On 40th wedding anniversary, husbant looked at his wife’s pussy, wept and said : "40 years ago i felt l...
AS GOOD A PLACE AS ANY --- A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and wanders over to the confessional box. He opens the door,...
FALKLANDS REUNION --- Next year marks the 25th anniversary of the Falklands war. To commemorate this, Simon Weston is organising a Vet...
MIDGET JOKE --- Whats the difference between a group of con-artist midgets and a womens jogging group? You would describe the ...
BRAGGADACIO --- After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room. The ones who stayed behind began to talk about ...
FARM LIFE --- A little boy that lives on a farm wakes up in a grouchy mood. He goes downstairs, sits at the table, and demands breakf...
SODA --- A young man had just came home with his date, when things got a little bit passionate he asked her for sex. She replied "no...
BATPOLE --- Why doesn?t Batman?s butler, Alfred, ever change into a batsuit when he slides down the batpole? In a past life he was a ...
THE NEW YEAR?S CONTEST --- John goes down to his local bar on New Year?s Eve and leaves his wife, Ann, at home. When he gets there, he...
IMMIGRANT TV --- COMING SOON;- IMMIGRANT TV, with these great shows; currynation street, Ahmedale, pakarama, MiddleEast-Enders,Britain...
AMERICAN PIE --- I met an American from Alabama once,he invited me to his home to meet his wife and sister. Funny thing was there was ...
MATH TEACHER AND A BLONDE --- a math teacher says what come after 69 a blonde says you wansh your hands and wash out your mouth duh
BEST BLOWJOB --- There?s this guy entered a bar and orders a beer. The bar tender noticed that the guy was moaning about something. He...
ZE SHOWER --- What is long and grey and runs around German showers? The gas pipe

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